Guest Post From Preach: Real vs Fake

Alright its time to learn once and for all who is real and who is fake. This is coming from and observation from a peer about the sad status of manhood/womanhood in the world. To paraphrase Chris Rock
" There's a war going on Real and fake...and the fake has got to GO!!!
Now there may be a slight, slight chance that you don't know what side you fall on. No problem at all for you dear readers. I shall break down to the up most break downess what constitutes as real and fake.
Please read on ...

#1 IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THEN YOUR PROBABLY NOT: Seriously its not that hard to know if you count as being real or fake. In order to know you must first know yourself. Walking around without an identity or a smidgen of self knowledge is wasteful. Learn yourself, know yourself and most importantly BE yourself.

#2 BE YOURSELF: Once again stop faking and fronting..its pathetic. With the advent of social networking people have a chance now to craft a personality that is not real. Your on facebook and twitter acting like you are THAT dude or chick. You act like the world is your oyster and you are hungry. Baby no..stop..you lying sob STOP. Little lesson on realness: Life is not a competition with everybody else. The only comp is with yourself. This small planet has alot of people on it and very few of them know you. Further more the energy you spend faking the funk could be used to actually get funky.

#3 YOU DON"T HAVE HATERS: Ever since that word came about people SWEAR they have haters.
NEWSFLASH: Once you get a certain age you don't have haters. People just don't like you. The opposite of love is not hate its indifference. When people don't like you they pay you no mind. Now I'm sure you think those girls in the corner of the club are hating on you and your crew. Boo Boo even if they are so what? What are you 13? Grow the hell up... True haters tend to be people that can actually cause you damage. See the dudes with the mean mug are not the ones you need to worry about. Its your homeboy that's plotting on your girlfriend who poses a real threat. Its your home girl or cousin that is going to sleep with your man that you should pay attention. Worrying about haters is like worrying if you beat Halo on its hardest level. Even if you do who cares?

#4 SHUT THE HELL UP : Its simple really...shut up..who cares. Stop running around telling all your business or someone else's business. Stop running your mouth all the time. A great man said that the loudest person in the room is the weakest person in the room. You want to know how your associate ended up with your woman. All those man time gossip sessions where you ran your mouth about EVERYTHING your girl said to you. He was sitting there smoking the blunt and drinking the the drank with you. But he made sure to note everything you said. You literally gave him a handbook/ instruction manual on how to please your woman. Now he's in your bed you bought doing all the things you said to the fellas you wouldn't. Keep your business to yourself and those who honestly care. Just because someone asks how you doing doesn't mean they want to know. You got 1 mouth and 2 ears..listen twice as much as you talk. Just because you got twitter doesn't mean everybody
need to know whats on your mind. SHUT UP


#5 HEART : This is the biggest factor honestly. Real and fake always divide when it comes down to your heart. Heart can best be described as standing firm in opposition of what your trying to accomplish. It means handling your responsibilities. Don't make a woman have to be mother AND father. It means chase your dream but work a damn job at the same time. Heart is showing that you have a sense of humanity about yourself. DO NOT laugh at those with less than you and DO NOT create bitterness to those with more. Show some heart ...show that if the chips are down you have something to under gird you. Albeit faith,logic,science family or whatever you must show you can stand tall. Men stop being followers in your relationships.Let her be the woman. Tell your friends that your house is not the kick it spot. Ladies start requiring (realistic) things from your man. If you want to be married be upfront. Show some backbone and let him know what you expect and
what you do not tolerate.

There are many more factors to being Real but chances are you already know them. And if you don't please consult the real person to your right or left.

Dr Reason asks.......

Is black men really that bad? I have been talking to different women lately and they all seem to have the same problems with black men. Ladies whats the deal? Is really the men or is it the womens choice in men?

Crossing the Line

This was a topic suggested by Mr. P.R. When do 'gifts' from a person to your significant other, cross the line? For instance, let's say your getting married. Well your fiancee/fiance gets a dozen roses or a new watch from someone at her/his job. How would you respond? Do you go into rage mode? Would you let it slide? Do you lose trust in that person? Respond!

Dr Reason asks.......

Why is that marriages aren't lasting any more? Why are there so many divorces? Why is money really effecting relationships?

Why are so many black women single?

so I found this great discussion that took place in a Atlanta, So after listening..Why are so many black women single?




This topic has been going around quite frequently and they share alot of great points!

The Double Standard.

I was asked by a female to weigh in on this: "Is it wrong for a girl to mess with two guys in one week? Is there something wrong with that?" This was my response: In my opinion, no. There is a double standard when it comes to men and women having multiple partners. When a man does it, he's a player/pimp/etc, but when a woman does it she's a slut. It's unfair. I say if that chick likes to have sex and is attracted to someone, what's the problem? Men can do it with impunity, why can't women. If she likes what she likes, why not go after it? Thoughts?

Perception Deception! New Post and Poll!

Do you think that females that dress "slutty" are asking for the wrong attention? Comment and hit the poll!

"Why You're Single" A Guest Post by Preach

Preach, a writer and comedian wrote this very funny article. I am reposting it here with his permission.

Why You're Single

Ok ladies and gentlemen, let’s put it all out there. Your single..namely for reasons and situations that are a byproduct of your environment and experiences. I for instance am a part time chauvinist. I mean I love and respect women but I'll be damn if imma have to explain my maleness in every situation to some knock off feminist. Chances are I really do NOT care what you’re thinking. Not because I don’t care about you but because I have a certain amount of space in my head for bs conversations. And every bs conversation we have eats away at it. So when I ignore you I am honestly de-fragmenting my mind from tales of coffee shop lattes and shoe shopping with your home girls. Now back to the lecture at hand your single because of YOU. Yes..I know you were cheated on, she played you for a fool, he lied all the time..blah blah freaking blah. Let’s all not act like we are 5 years old again. Chances are in your __ years of dating you have acquired some bad habits that causes the opposite sex to just say f it and roll. For your benefit I will list some of these so we can hopefully rectify the problem.

1. TOO DAMN SMART: Not saying you have to have the mental capabilities of Forest Gump but DAMMMMM..do you have to include 5 and 6 syllable words in all your conversations. Guess what those degrees you “value” so much …their just pieces of paper. Nobody really cares anything about you and your life outside of your little circle. So take the chip off your shoulder and relax…

2. TOO DAMN SENSITIVE: Fellas I’m talking to you. Especially you puca shell wearing, sandals and toe ring having ,all your missing is a belly chain ,fake Eric Benet wanna be brothers… MAN UP sometime… women were made to be emotional for a reason..stop crying… do us and them a favor and find your balls. Now ladies you have some work here too. We expect you to cry..what we don’t expect is a woman who pouts like a toddler. Really..your not going to talk to me because I don’t agree with what you saying.. really..like really.. I have to agree with you ALL the time..really???

3. KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH: A relationship is never 50/50 all the time. Sometimes its 60/40..every once in a while it may be 70/30. Two dominant forces do NOT mix well together. There’s a time to be submissive. Not saying you’re a slave but shut up and go with the program every once in awhile. The more open your mouth is the more likely you are to not hear what the other is saying. MEN ..being right and arguing till your blue in the face is not gonna gain you any points. A relationship disagreement is not a battle royale or a king of the mountain match. The last man standing does not always win. LADIES: The flip side of his is using anti logic against logic. Your naturally better at remembering past indiscretions than we are. Relating something from June 17 ,2009 and something from yesterday is not fair.

4. DON’T SLICK A CAN OF OIL: Your not as slick as you think. What’s done in the dark comes to the light. For every action there is a equal and opposite reaction. The more game you run in a relationship the more it shows the weakness in your character. If you want to be single then don’t be in a relationship. Don’t waste someone’s time because you don’t want nobody to play with your toys while you’re gone. That persons true partner could be out there and they might not meet because you want to play little silly behind games. STOP IT. Your grown act like it

5. NOT PLAYING FAIR: Look cheating happens and while it’s a selfish act to put someone thru there are rules to the game. Mainly you don’t give the #2 number 1 privileges. Do your dirt and GO HOME. Don’t spend all night over there..what you doing’? having a conversation..getting to know the person your cheating with? Watching TV? Don’t play in grown folks playground area if you gonna be a child. It already shows your untrustworthy anyhow so why add on to it? Its not cute and nobody respects a cheater in the long run. If you gonna do something dumb then don’t do nothing STUPID. Be real..your 35 years old in have been in 12 failed relationships.

So ladies and gents that’s the lesson for the day. Be real ..be true .. and most importantly..be yourself. Just not all at once.


Preachin’ Lamar

Dr. Dee Cuptz Supple Recipe of the Week

Have him lickin' that "Chicken Pot PIE" all night

OK ladies.. Here's another recipe to try. Enjoy!

Ingredients

• 1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie


• 1 carrot, chopped


• 1 head fresh broccoli, chopped


• 2 boneless chicken breast halves, cooked and chopped


• 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup


• 2/3 cup milk


• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese


• 1/2 teaspoon of salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven 425 degrees F (220 degrees C)


2. Steam carrots and broccoli in a covered pot for 3 mins, until slightly tender but still firm


3. In a large bowl, mix together carrots, broccoli, chicken, soup, milk cheese and salt


4. Spoon mixture into pastry-lined 9 inch pie pan and cover with top crust


5. Seal edges and cut steam vents in top


6. Bake in pre-heated oven for 30 mins, until golden brown

Get at cha' girl!

Ugly Girls Love Pretty Girls and Pretty Girls Love Ugly Girls

As you see the dynamic working wonders.

Listen I'll be frank. Look a group of women, notice how some just look better than others? Well the reason why is simple (in my opinion) ugly girls like hang with pretty girls so they can get a taste of the attractive life and pretty girls like hanging with ugly girls so they can see what being a real human with a soul is all about. I mean it's simple really, once you've looked like a truck stop urinal all your life, you want to see what the soda section looks like. If you look like a hobbit swallowing a grenade full of snake venom, then hell, why not at least to get stare at the back of the head of a decent looking man while he stumbles all over your friend. Ugly girls are a necessary dynamic in life. They take their share of the mosquito load in the summer (who want's all those bites) they're great for clinical trials, and whenever you need a lesson in empathy, look at a chick that looks like a combination of Peabo Bryson and Stonewall Jackson and feel...just feel.


As for the pretty girls they LOVE the ugly girls. Most times they have the absolute best personalities, they're thoughtful, respectful, good listeners, and great friends from years of being mistreated by society and the pretty girls couldn't give a damn less. The hobbits are there as placeholders, hold her bag, hold her purse, hold her leg up so he can get that stroke down (you know she got big heels and he trynna get that G-Spot...and if the ugly girl does it right, she might get the scraps). It's crazy to see these extremes but you see them sometimes. The ugly chick wants the life of the pretty girl and the pretty girl wants the down to earth tendencies and good nature of the oddity in front of her but can't see life without people waiting on her hand in foot. IMO, be friends with who makes you feel good, but if you're the ugly mango faced pirate in heels, be wary because you're making her look good, and if you're the decrepit shell of a human realize that if she turns pretty the ride is over. Accept your fate and maybe that dude has a hobbit looking homeboy just for you.

What do you think?

--Mr.PR

Dr Reason asks.......

Why do people stay in abusive relationships? It always boggled my mind that people will stay in a physical and/or mental abusive relationship. For that matter do you believe in mental abuse? Share ya thoughts

Dr Reason asks.......

Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need. ~Margaret Mead

We all have had those moments when we don't answer are phones when that call comes. Whether its cause we don't wanna be bothered, we just want to be trusted, or simply we want them to realize that they can be replaced. What makes a person want this attention? Is it a self-esteem boost? Share ya thoughts

Girls Who Kiss Girls And Like It....

Nothing brings out the sheer joy in males like girls kissing girls. (Well, maybe except for threesomes and the same thing ends up happening) In many eyes it IS perfectly OK for girls to kiss girls and like it. Katy Perry said so. (See above). And it is the greatest of eye candy for males to see females to engage in quasi/psuedo lesbian activities. What are your thoughts?

That's Not How I Met You...

Moment of truth time. What happens when your significant other "gets too comfortable"? What the hell am I talking about you ask? You KNOW what I'm talking about. When your significant other starts to pack on the pounds. When they start getting lazy because they don't have to "impress" you anymore. When it's fried foods over fitness. Is it not reasonable to expect your significant other to stay in shape? To keep that curvy or muscular body they had when you met them? Comment!

Dr Reason asks.......

How far does ambition go for a suitable mate? I mean lets face it coming out of a recession not everyone is blessed to be stable economically. For that matter some people are earning money doing things that society might find to be "beneath" them. So, do you just write em off because there not where they're supposed to be in life? Or, do you say "hey they're trying hard" and give them a shot anyway?

Can Cheating Be Justified?

This is just a quick post to coincide with the new poll. Do you think cheating can ever be justified? Is there ever a good excuse? Let us know! Leave your comments under the post and make sure to hit the poll!

Dr. Cel's Random Post

This is a blog for ALL and ALL are welcome to comment on this post. My cousin sent me this link and I thought it would be interesting to get opinions on it. Doesn't matter if you're black, white, purple, yellow, red, orange...etc..

http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgossipinfo/8-reasons-black-men-are-still-under-attack/

If It Isn't Love:

Don't make an excuses for a love that's not right for you!


I borrowed this from: http://www.forharriet.com/2010/09/if-it-isnt-love-dont-make-excuses-for.html



Did you ever offer your love in a shaky situation because you thought you would be able to control it? Seriously. Did you ever date or try to woo someone or allow yourself to BE wooed by someone whom you KNOW good and well is not a match for you? You knew they were too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too broke, too stupid, too ugly, too country, too ghetto, too weird, too quiet, too loud, too corny or just too wack for you. Or maybe on a more mellow note you guys just did NOT share the same values, cares concerns or general ideas about life? But you pursued them anyway? Or allowed them to pursue you, because you thought their shortcomings would give you an advantage in the situation? Or because you wanted to try EXTREME dating (think high levels of inherent danger), so you tried to wrestle down the most Unlike you person you could find?

Listen. Just cut it out. I tweeted recently that bending over backwards to slide under a bar set too low really does leave you in "limbo". It's unnatural, just like being in over your head. Why do you think that just because you have to dumb down, slow down or shrink for someone that you can control them? They are controlling YOU. You’re the one sitting in the “special class” of love when you should be in the honors program. Not them. They are overachieving and everyone involved knows it. And guess what? They are human beings. And that means you can’t control what they do. AND, just as you are covering for them and hovering over them? Another person is willing to do the same thing. SO: while you are steady settling and trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, your slacker boo may ACTUALLY get tired of YOU and move on to the next charitable lover, making YOU feel “settled for”! You see where I am going with this? Stop slumming. Or at least stop trying to make romance with someone that you have to CHANGE in order to love. If you don’t even RESPECT them it isn’t love. If your description of them is full of “if onlys” it isn’t love. If you are waiting for them to DO something or to STOP doing something before you can love them “all the way”, it isn’t love. It’s obsession. Or perceived ownership. Or some other foolishness that is going to leave you brokenhearted or mad as hell when it doesn’t work out. Because it won’t.

You can't drag a person to the top of your mountain. They must be willing to climb their own. Can you imagine literally climbing a mountain trying to DRAG your significant other to the top with you because they are unwilling to even move? What’s going to happen? You’re going to fall backwards and kill both of you right? STOP IT. The other scenario is that a sexy mountain ranger comes along and steals your mate and the supplies and leaves YOU to die on the mountainside with all your energy and resources gone. Get the drift? Let it go. The crazy thing is that many unpolished underachievers still have the gull to live by ego rather than principle. They KNOW you have no business with them so they are going to try to press their luck. OR they are going to guilt you, stress you or suffocate you into wallowing right with them. Don't let them happen to you.

The point is: Live. Love yourself. Admit your dreams and chase them. Remember what makes you happy and allow your heart to find that in others. Be the best you that you can be so that you will have the courage when you meet your match.

Angela Ford Johnson is a Philly-based writer and consultant, affectionately known as Angie Writes. Follow her on Twitter and Tumblr


Let me know your thoughts fellas, and ladies.

Dr Reasons' Statement of the Day:

There can only be one! There's one King of the castle not two. There's a King that heads up the home, who makes the most important decisions. There's a Queen. The number two of the house hold i say number two because that individual follows the orders of number one. There's some input from number two, and number one might make decisions based off of those suggestions but, number one ultimately has the final say. A good king will be king no matter the situation. So what the queen makes more money than the king(to be clear im not talking the queen is taking care of the king, he holds his own financially) he is still the king.... Share your thoughts

Dr Reason asks.......

Can an adult male and a adult female have a non romantic relationship?

Driven from a reason thread, i would like to know if you believe a man and a woman can have a simple friendship without anything romantic between the both. Lets be clear i'm not talking about one of your friends girlfriends or boyfriends...no! I'm talking about a person that has no other ties to u except that friendship. Share ya thoughts