I've got to come right out and say it, I think being single is the shit. I think it's one of the smartest decisions a person can make. Thoughts of the legal hell known as marriage do not bring wonderful images to mind. I tell people I don't want to get married and they say "You've just got to find the right person." NO. There is no right person and even if there was a "right" person they would be wrong for me. I want to go where I want to go WHEN I want to go there. I want to buy what I want to buy WHEN I want to buy it. I don't want anyone going through my phone, trying to figure out the password to my email (It's 128 bit encrypted b*tch! Leave it alone!), or wondering why I said hi to that nice girl on the street. Simply put, relationships stress me the everlasting fuck out. No gotdammit, I don't wanna get off the fucking Xbox right now! Don't you see me in a heated battle of team deathmatch on Modern Warfare?! No I don't want to go to your nephew or niece's baptism (probably gonna turn out to be a heathen or whore anyway) and I really don't give a flying fuck about your cat dying(obviously, he went over the 9th life). Why the hell do we have to go out and eat when I have perfectly fresh sliced turkey and bread? Betta make a fuckin' sandwich. And I know you really wanted that nice necklace you saw at Zales (fuckers) but buying shit for your birthday, Valentine's Day, anniversary(It's only been ONE fucking month! Geez!) and Christmas cuts into my gun, videogame, clothes, and shoe money. Hell no, I don't want to stop talking to my other female friends because we're "official". You think it's necessary that I cut all communication off because we're supposed to be "exclusive"? HA! You wanna know what's exclusive? Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Aston Martins, Bugattis, and a whole host of other cars I'll never be able to afford if I have to keep devoting my time and money to you. "But playing Modern Warfare and buying crap you like is devoting time and money to other things", she says. But it's SHIT I LIKE! So therefore it doesn't bother me. Now give me some or get the hell out before I call the other girl...Shit...
(And ladies, I understand that men act like this too)
Check out this link for some myths about being single:
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9850&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=692726&trackingid=526214&bannerid=683695
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9850&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=692726&trackingid=526214&bannerid=683695
havent checked the link yet but i must say being single is the shit. No explaining why i didn't call or explaining that i'm really spending two hours at the gym mon-thur, and not out with another female. Being single is great because like u said, u save tons of money and you have freedom. if a chick starts getting clingy just stop returning phone calls, she'll get the picture. Damn that sounds heartless, but my intentions have always been clear. Though, I believe one day i will eventually get married, i hope that it wouldn't be so much of a chore as some of my past relationships have been.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, in a more sensible argument not fueled by testosterone i will say that being single gives one time to develop self, to adjust any imperfections, to follow/pursue ones goals/dreams. Sometimes a relationship takes your focus off of whats important. And if its a negative situation it can often times lead to more stress than one really needs. Which i believe the right female will make for a less stressful situation. And lets not forget there are plenty of independent women(i hate the rapper made that song now it seems ghetto to say that)that don't need a man and flat out tell them that. Often times men and women just need something a little less complicated. Sometimes they just want companionship with out all the stress and questions (dudes can be jealous too)
i'm just sayin
I totally agree. To me, it's all about taking away the complication and POTENTIAL complication. Your dream girl(no Jennifer Hudson) can suddenly turn into Hellgirl, which makes you Hellboy, which makes for an interesting comic book that will get you sued because Hellboy is distributed by Dark Horse Comics....See how complicated that just became?
ReplyDeleteDr. Cel
See Dr. Cel, i think people that need to be in relationships constantly have something wrong with them. I believe that they don't know how to define themselves as an individual. I literally know people that cant be alone. Their miserable, they would rather let a man/female define them; they truly don't know how to function outside an relationship. These people are sad. But to each is own. I guess....ladies were yall at in this?
ReplyDeleteDr. Reason, that is so true and it's SAD. These people need some kind of support system so they don't fall apart. These are weak individuals in my opinion.
ReplyDelete@Cel lmao!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, being single is the way to go. Dont get me wrong, I don't want to be alone, just not in a relationship lol. I can be single and still have somebody to wake up to in the morning, cook me dinner, & open christmas gifts with. And the beauty of it all is after i eat dinner & after the christmas gifts are opened, she's LEAVES. Being single means you have OPTIONS. I need my options dammit.
U may take a pit stop once in a while w/ a nice female. But signing legal contracts binding me to a woman aint happening.
Being single means your accountable for ONLY YOU. Being single means you have the ultimate power over ur life & destiny. Im simply a fan of doing what i please without asking permission or worrying about other mofos issues.
101
One-O-One~Yesssss! It's all about the options and the freedom. For those that get married and enjoy it, more power to them. I respect them highly for that. But to ME, marriage is like voluntarily choosing to go to prison for some shit you didn't do. "SURE!!! I'll go to prison for life for not committing a crime! And even though I may get out early, I've still lost a lot of time, money, and I stand to lose more just for leaving prison! I'm all for it!!! SOUNDS GREAT!" /Sarcasm
ReplyDeleteIt's not a maturity thing, like some people try to guilt trip and be condescending about. It's about MAINTAINING the MAXIMUM (and I understand you can't control everything) amount of control one can have over their own life. No extra shit. No extra complications. BE FREE.
DR Cel, your absolutely correct. If being single makes me happy then thats what im going to do. If marriage makes me happy than thats what im going to do. Its not about maturity, or even for that matter smashing multiple women, even though thats nice; its about personal choice and a pursuit to happiness.
ReplyDeleteDr. Reason~Exactly.
ReplyDeletethere are times I feel the same way.... Niggas are draining!
ReplyDeleteI didnt want to read all the comments but heres my thoughts at my "young" age, I would like to be with someone right now but at the same time I do want to have freedom to do what Ive been doing for the past few years. As I said to one of my girls, Im getting tired of "dating" you meaning everytime I want to do something its always with one of my female friends. True men and women are complicated beings, females are annoying and Im tired of always being around them just to have fun. Whatever happeend to basic friendships that possibly evolve into something more, nowadays its all about the sex and good looks but everybody is burning and it aint on fire.
ReplyDeletehaha...you fellas actually made some valid points in the end...You all were beinging to scare me a bit.
ReplyDeleteFrom a woman's perspective, and Reason you hit the nail on the head the relationship shouldn't be pulling teeth and the right two people ( actually any two sane people) together can see that they are seperate individuals and are very different and with common sense in one hand and alittle undestanding for anothers own quirks and afflictions they can make a great team. Another great thing to have is a life outside of one another. Thats when problems happen when you let that person take over you time, life, etc! :/..Scarey...
I've learned that we women have to ignore men. Just pretend like your not even there. Do what I need to do and when your input is neccessary then I might ask.....maybe. You all (the not so crazy ones) seem to do well in situations were everything is pretty chill. No pressure, and us ladies allow you to lead. Now some of you all aren't leaders ( in relationships) which makes it very hard to decipher wtf you want! Open dialogue is a must for me...If you can't articulate yor feelings...we will have a problem. Even if you don't feel anything at all for the person your with at least you can let her know that!
ladies just chill out... If you like him stick around for a while, get to know him and allow him to get to know you and if you click he will see(if he's smart he'll keep you and you alone on his team.) Other wise if he can't make that progreesion after a while he's either slow or uninterested and you need to move on!!!! We don't need to be sticking around in those stupid ( I'm single , but I still wakeup next to somebody) That shit is Wack! Fellas, either Man u! (If you want her) of fall back!
Whatever happened to the days where men would pursue a women, build her a house!!!! Get hitched , make babaies, work hard together...You guys need to pick up a skilled trade other than war game pursuits and comic books( lmao) I'm just saying. I want a man who wants to build me a house! Or at least have it built:)
TeachEm and Miss D~Great posts.
ReplyDeleteBut here's the rub. I don't want to have to do anything other than what I want to do. I can't build someone a house if I'm trying to build my OWN. I'm all for the team dynamic for those that WANT to do it. Good luck to them. It's just not for me. If you are in a relationship, it WILL take up YOUR time. It WILL intefere with YOUR life. Period. It MUST if the relationship is going to work.
And I agree that people are not real with their partners. They don't let them know that they're tired of the relationship or that something is wrong, so they grow apart over time. Or they cheat. My thing is there are no absolutes. You might find what you think is THE ONE. Everything is great, you get along, blah, blah, blah. You get married based on these things and then face a real crisis and the marriage turns to sh*t. Or you realize that you didn't want to be married. This happens ALL THE TIME. People think they are ready for something that they are not OR just do it to please the other person. But you don't know UNTIL you get in that situation.
Now, I did say there are no absolutes. But you can be closer to an absolute when YOU alone are in charge of your life. When nobody can dictate to you how they want things to be. When you don't have to worry about somebody else's feelings about what YOU want to do, when you want to do it, or how you want to do it. That is FREEDOM. If I want to go to work, come home, and spend the rest of the day playing a game, then that's what I want to do. If I want to go to sleep, then that's what I want to do. If I want to go out on a date with no strings attached, then that's what I want to do. And I have the FREEDOM to do it. I don't have to worry about ANY EXTRA input.
If somebody builds you a house, you have to abide by their rules or what they want. I say build your own house and invite who you want to over. ;)
Good points though.
First of all, i would like to thank everyone for their input. Miss D i feel as if Dr Cel addressed you so i'm going to address Teach em...
ReplyDeleteIight, I understand what you mean, but you have to understand you and only you dictate what happens in your life. I for example have plenty of women in my life. I'm not braggin, really im not a lot of these women are just friends and are around me for simple companionship. Theres like two that i wouldn't mind pursuing something with but i'm not sure. All of them know that i have other women in my life...all of them are ok with it. When i want a woman or one sparks my interest i take my time with her. I have to feel her out, often time ill befriend her, if she don't have the patience to work on my schedule then on to the next one. ITS only when women want to dictate my schedule when theres a problem. U got a dude on the side... no problem i got females...he take u out to dinner...fine. Save that money and take me out. And finally before i venture too off topic. Some friendships are not worth loosing for a couple months of romance believe me i know.